A Powerful Post (by someone else)

Today, I read a very powerful post on Perfection written by Dan Pearce at Single Dad Laughing. And, as I sit here digesting it, all I can think is , "Wow." Not, "wow!" but, "wow." I'm just blown away at how real this post is. At how it nails the feelings I know so many of us have.

Please go here to read this post.

And, when you're done, please come back and let's talk about it. I know I struggle with this. I do things like he's mentioned. I can be very passive aggressive just like the majority of my family. I get frustrated when I have to ask my husband to do something more than once. And, then resentful if I end up doing it.

I feel "not good enough" all the time. So, I overcompensate by doing things I know I can do well.

I've stopped trying to reconnect with my father after I got married. It just seems easier to not have to try so hard and get so little in return.

I get house envy all. the. time. Why? I don't know. We get compliments on our house and everyone seems to love our neighborhood. Why can't that be enough?

I get so wrapped up in having a clean and tidy home that I rarely relax on the weekends. If everything isn't "just so" it stresses me out and I can't relax. Imagine how well this is going for me now that I'm in school on the weekends as well. And, then imagine how much house guests stress me out, no matter how much I enjoy their company.

Why do I do this? I don't know. Perhaps because there are so many things I would change about our home if I could. If We had the money. Or, if my husband didn't love certain things that I hate. And, I hate that I bring this up all the time so I can joke about it as if telling people, "It's not MY style, I would do SO much better." Would I? Really? Probably not.

Speaking of homes, when we refinanced I let my husband do it all on his own. Why? I'm not sure, but if I think about it, I'm pretty sure I was nervous my lack of a solid credit history would mean we wouldn't get as low of a rate as he could get on his own. So, really, it's still just his house. At least, according to the bank.

I kind of joked about this in a previous post, but I get my hair cut every two weeks so that it's perfect (or, at least, just how I want it to be). How exhausting does that sound?

And, like most women I know, I use self tanner, I whiten my teeth, use anti-aging creams and potions so I'll look youthful and well rested, even when I'm getting older and very tired some days.

I don't tell people I have Migraine until I know them really well. I guess I don't want to be judged since SO many people don't understand it and can't relate to it. What do I do instead? Shut down. Make my husband frustrated and generally mope. Would it be easier to admit that I have this "condition"? Probably...

I also know that I judge. I judge harshly. Especially if someone has a flaw I see in myself. Do you interrupt people (like I do)? I'll dislike you for it. I'll try not to, but it's like a nervous habit. You don't realize you're doing it most of the time.

Do you talk on the phone while driving? I'm judging you for that as well. Why do I do this when I have my hands free in my car? Because a driver you'll never meet ran into me while she was talking on the phone. I know, it has nothing to do with you, but it makes me feel better about me. Make sense?

Anyhow, I'll leave it at that. Mostly because just writing this small bit has been so very therapeutic already. Let's all make a vow to just be real, okay?

And, remember, you don't have to be perfect to be beautiful.