This post is specifically for all of you readers who also suffer from Migraine. Or, really, any other pain that can't be "seen". I know that my husband wants to help, but he rarely gets headaches of any kind, lucky guy.
How do you best communicate to your significant other? Or, family? I find that one of the most frustrating parts about this disease is how little people who don't ever have them understand about them.
I find that more often than not, people think it's just a bad headache. And, really, it's SO much more than that. I've tried explaining the pain or the general symptoms, but that doesn't seem to help. I've tried voicing that, yes, a lot of people can't go to work when they're sick with one, but if I never worked when I came down with one I wouldn't be able to hold a job.
I've tried to stay away from certain triggers such as smells, foods, bright flashing lights, but often that's not enough. Sometimes, one will come on for no apparent reason at all. And, that's the hardest to communicate. Well, those and the Migraines I wake up with. I have a special disdain for those.
Anyhow, how do you all get your points (and pains) across? I'd really love to know.
4 comments:
The day I had to go to the emergency room with what turned out to be a migraine really helped my husband understand - not that you want to go to that extreme. The doctors discussing it with him, and then him hearing experiences from other migraine sufferers really put it into perspective for him. Most people can't grasp it until they've suffered from it. Although, there have been some pretty amazing articles I've read that provide detailed accounts that really drive the message home. Hope you find some relief. :)
I completely understand. I've tried using comparisons...such as, a residual migraine (the lingering migraine the day after) is comparable to a sore muscle after working out. It's as if my head is exhausted from hurting so bad the day before.
It is a very difficult disease to communicate, hands down. The best thing my ex boyfriend said I did was just continually describe what I felt and what would help. He eventually understood that there is no one-set-relief tactic, that it's trial and error every time. He also eventually understood that each time the pain level is different, therefore sometimes I can go about my day and sometimes I need quiet and a dark room. And so he stopped trying to comprehend it and started just being there for me, whatever I needed.
Using analogies to other injuries has worked for me, like the sore muscle, or saying it's like a leg cramp that's tightened up and won't relax...things like that. Maybe try that, try each time you have a migraine, explain what you feel and how you plan to handle it, and ask your husband to just listen for now. After awhile, he should be able to have a new understanding and be helpful instead of feeling helpless.
HUGS!! Migraines suck!
I don't suffer from migraines and I'm sorry that you do but I have ongoing painful IBS and it's another one of those "not seen" things and it makes it difficult for people to understand.
My husband too has been supportive but I am sure it's hard for to even understand what it's like.
Not fun :(
I am so sorry that you struggle with this! It sounds so hard.
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