Most of you who are regular readers will know that I love books. I am generally reading one or two at a time and I'm always looking for recommendations of what to read next.
Right now I'm reading A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini. He is the author of The Kite Runner, which I loved.
I started reading this book on Wednesday night. I generally like to start a book prior to a trip to see how I like it. In my opinion it's frustrating to start a book on a flight and hate it. Well, let's just say this book has had me in tears for the majority of it.
I know I'm a softy and I cry during good books and movies, but this particular book has really got me thinking. Why? Well, on our flight home last night the third person in our row was a woman who was also reading this book. And, not crying. Me, I'm a blubbering idiot on a plane and I kept waiting for the flight attendant, or my husband, to ask me if I was okay.
Finally, I had to close the book and just listen to my music, but it got me thinking. Why is this book so upsetting to me? And, I think it has LOTS to do with my very complicated relationship with my father. You see, the main character in A Thousand Splendid Suns has a less than loving relationship with her father and it breaks my heart. I had this same reaction to Moloka'i, which I read recently, that also deals with a father daughter relationship.
I haven't talked about my father or why our relationship is so strained much here, mostly because I feel like it's very personal, but I think it might be time to dig deeper and get to the root of this. I mean, if a book can have this profound an effect on me then I'm clearly not at peace with my relationship with my dad.
The abridged version of the story is this. My father left my mom and they divorced after 36 years of marriage. No one saw it coming. My dad was very dismissive of mine and my siblings' feelings and basically told us since we were adults we should be okay with it. I could go on, but I'm not sure it would make a difference.
I did have some counseling after it happened, but I'm pretty sure they counselor wasn't quite what I needed. I never felt any better really. And, while I have forgiven him and I'm not angry any longer, it's still very tough to realize you'll never have the kind of relationship you had before.
to be continued (at some point)...
3 comments:
I am really sorry to hear about what happened with your father. That would be very difficult. I feel the same way about books on vacation. I need to start one in advance so that I know I won't be stuck with a bad one. I spent several hours in Borders yesterday while my son was at a play date. I'll have to email you some of the book titles that I wrote down, and we can compare notes.
Oh, Sara! I'm sorry. Thanks for trusting us with the abridged version of the story. I would have been quite upset as well. Do you think a second try at counseling would be worth it?
I'm heading to B&N in a bit, and I'll let you know what I come back with.
First of all, I can't wait to pick up this book - you know how much I loved Moloka'i,so now I completely trust your opinion on anything literary. Second, don't ever feel like you have to justify yours feelings. I can completely understand why such a book would upset you - and I think it's very healthy that you want to dig deeper. That being said, I cry at the drop of a hat too. :)
Post a Comment