Remember this post? Well, if you’re new you don’t, but it was a post that I put a lot of thought into since I cherish my friendships. Well, it seems to be a problem again. I mean, I’m literally to the point of thinking I may not even BE friends with two girls who were in my wedding anymore.
I’ve called, emailed, texted, Facebooked. I've called another friend to see if they were okay, since I was actually worried about them. And, still nothing. I’ve done everything except physically knock on their doors.
Our mutual friend (the one I called to see if they were still alive) is having trouble getting them to respond as well. SO, while I thought it was just me, it turns out it’s not. He thinks maybe it’s because I’m married now (since they want to be), but I still need friends. I’m married, not dead!
So, I’m going to put it out there again for you new readers. What do you do to maintain your friendships? I mean, this is a two way street and lately, I’m the only one on the road. (Oh gosh, that last sentence sounded like my dad!)
Now, I don’t want to sound like a sad sack over here, but it really hurts my feelings. I don’t know what to do anymore other than give up and call it a loss.
Which breaks my heart since I don’t have tons of friends. I mean, I’ve always thought the friends I did have were the good ones you keep forever.
Sorry to be a Debbie Downer today, but I’m really frustrated here…
5 comments:
I know how you feel. I've been through it and I don't like chasing people down. I would leave a message and say Hey, wondering if you're okay. If something is wrong, i'm here for you. In the meantime I'm going to back off until you call me back. I miss you. Something like that. This way they know that you're upset but you aren't going to chase them. You know? In the meantime, find some new friends. I know, I know, easier said then done. When I moved to NJ from NY I knew no one so I had to go out and meet people who have things in common with you. Girls nights out are lots of fun but you're a newleywed so I assume you want to hang out with other couples. Sometimes we have to just go out and find people who have things in common with us because as our lives change, so do the people we spend our time with. Hope this helps.
That sounds really frustrated. I don't blame you for being down about it. I have really grown apart from several of my (formerly good) friends too. But I think you have to tell yourself that you are doing all that you can - you have reached out to them, etc. And you can't help what they do or don't do. That's beyond your control, you know? I wish you the very best. Hang in there.
Sorry for my typo. I meant to say "frustrating."
I totally know how you feel. My friends treat me SO much differently now that I am married and I feel completely out of the loop being so far away. Its sad but I don't think its the distance that is killing the friendship its their lack of maturity.
I'm so sorry, Sara! I have the opposite problem. Most of my friends are married...and I ceased to exist when they added a little jewelry to their left hand.
I really miss my friends, especially because I don't have a lot of them (like you).
I'd just suggest that you send them a message (text, email, FB) and say that you miss them and will be thinking of them...and to let YOU know when they might want to have coffee and catch up.
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